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HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY (2008)
Blogtober Qualifications: Demons, trolls, ectoplasm,
*Spoiler warning for Hellboy (2004)*
*Possible spoilers for the Hellboy comics universe by Mike Mignola et al.*
At the end of the first movie, things seemed to be going well for Hellboy (Ron Perlman). He defied his destiny and managed to avoid destroying the world. He's still got his best buddy, Abe Sapien (Doug Jones). He found love with Liz Sherman (Selma Blair). And he gets to continue being a pain in the tail for B.P.R.D. director Tom "Manny" Manning (Jeffrey Tambor). Things have taken a bit of a downturn since then.
For starters, Liz is growing frustrated with their living situation, and Manny has run out of patience with Big Red. And then what should be a routine mission ends up with HB revealing to the entire the world the existence of not only himself, but the B.P.R.D. as a whole. In response, Washington assigns ghost-in-a-diving-suit Johann Krauss (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) as the new lead agent of the B.P.R.D.. He and Hellboy don't along, to put it politely.
Meanwhile, the elf prince Nuada (Luke Goss) is on the warpath. He is determined to resurrect the ancient Golden Army in the hopes of turning it against humanity, taking the Earth back for the fairy folk. Only his sister, the princess Nuala (Anna Walton) can stop him, but not without some help...
So I've mentioned this before, but I love director Guillermo del Toro. I've also mentioned before that I love comics writer/artist Mike Mignola, and the Hellboy/B.P.R.D. shared universe he created. Well guess what? This movie (just like the first one) combines both those things. What.
I discovered Hellboy (and del Toro) by way of the first movie, so it has a special place in my heart. It diverged a fair bit from the source material, most egregiously lacking Kate Corrigan and Roger the Homunculus (which I'm only able to forgive because I love del Toro), but overall it was a pretty dang good fantasy action flick. In a lot of ways it's amazing that a comic book movie made in 2004, based on something so left-of-center, was as great as it was. So great, in fact, that it managed to get a sequel. And how does it stand up?
Honestly? In my opinion, it's actually better than the first one. Though, that comes with a few things that need to be understood.
First of all, this movie, even more than the first, should carry the title "Guillermo del Toro's Hellboy II: The Golden Army." I say that because, even though the protagonists are all Mignola characters, this story is all del Toro. Note: this is not a bad thing.
Don't get me wrong, I'd love to see a real true-to-page adaptation of Hellboy (and, even more than that, a B.P.R.D. Netflix series). A lot of signs point to the fact that we may be getting that within the next couple years. But from what I know about Mike Mignola, he seems to be the type of guy that likes to see what other people do with his characters. And if you're going to give anyone that kind of freedom, you give it to Guillermo del Toro.
So it's not a bad thing, but it is something worth being aware of. Outside of the characters, the world in the movie has more in common with Pan's Labyrinth than with B.P.R.D.. But what a cool world it is. There's some seriously creative stuff going on here, which I guess shouldn't be surprising. What is surprising is how well all of it holds up. I don't like to compare one thing to another, but the effects in this movie, including the CG, hold up so much better than MirrorMask. I know it came three years later, but something tells me the first Hellboy would hold up better as well, and it came one year before MirrorMask.
It isn't all perfect (and a very small percentage is actually not good), but for the most part it still looks great. It's so well-done that some of these 2008 effects were able to fool my 2017 eye. That takes some serious doing. I think a lot of it has to do with the combination of CG and practical effects, which is always the way to go. As far as I can tell, Johann's suit is completely practical, outside of the ghost effects, and it's a treat to watch. There are so many little details on it that I was still noticing new things near the end.
But that's how it looks. How's the story? It's good, if not the most original thing in the world. There are some fairly original elements, and the presence of Hellboy and the others makes it different from anything that's come before. At the end of the day, though, it's the story of a war being fought between humans and magical people. The magical people have hidden themselves away in order to keep peace between the two, but a renegade member of the magical people has decided that his people should subjugate (or destroy) the humans, and sets about all sorts of evil to make it happen.
The bare bones details of the story aren't really new, it's stuff we've seen before. But it's told well, and as I mentioned before, the visuals and the creature designs (of course) are extremely creative. So it's more or less an old story with a really nice new coat of paint.
I'm going to quickly speed through the cast, since only about half of them are new.
Ron Perlman is still perfect. His version of the character isn't completely accurate to the comics version, but it doesn't matter because he made it his own. Ron Perlman is Hellboy, and Stranger Things' David Harbour is going to have a difficult task in trying to fill his shoes in the remake.
Selma Blair's Liz is actually more accurate to her comics version in this movie. Though, ironically enough, she's more accurate to how Liz would be written in the years following the movie. Which one is influencing which? Anyway, she's acerbic, dismissive, and has no patience for anyone. She's pretty great.
Doug Jones actually gets to voice Abe this time, and he sounds so similar to David Hyde Pierce (who voiced Abe in the first movie, apparently) that I don't know why they didn't use his voice in the first place. His is the character I'm most torn on. I really like movie Abe, but I vastly prefer comics Abe. I'm not sure why he had to be changed so much, but the filmmakers clearly felt it was needed, so there you go. Like I said, I like him, and Doug Jones does a great job in the role. He's just the only thing I really wish were more accurate.
Tom Manning is played by Jeffrey Tambor, which means he's playing himself. But let me tell you something: Jeffrey Tambor may not have that wide of a range (usually), but the character he usually plays, he plays perfectly. He can play this exact character in everything for the rest of time, for all I care.
I don't know what it is, but something bothers me about Seth MacFarlane as the voice of Johann. It's not that he does a bad job, it's just... why? I can only assume that it somehow comes from the fact that Family Guy was actually relevant in 2008, and looking back it really just feels like stunt casting. He doesn't bring much soul to the character, in my opinion, which is bad for a character who is literally just a soul.
Roger the Homunculus is... oh, right. He's not here. WHOSE IDEA WAS THAT.
Princess Nuala's makeup looks great, but she doesn't get to do a whole lot. As my wife and I were watching, I came up with an ending to her story that I honestly think would have been loads better than what we ultimately got. It's just as well, though, since the actress isn't all that great in the role anyway. There were certain lines where she wasn't even trying. At least, I hope she wasn't.
And finally we have Prince Nuada. I don't personally like the character. Again, his makeup is great, but I find him to be whiny and childish. It's almost like they wanted to use Elric, but obviously couldn't do that. The difference is that Elric is clever and likable, in a wry kind of way. Still, the actor, Luke Goss, does a decent job in the role, and he's ultimately just there to get punched a lot anyway.
And there you have Hellboy II: The Golden Army. Overall, I still really like this movie. It's a shame we never got a third one, but it's honestly amazing we ever got a second one. There's a reboot coming, supposedly next year. I don't honestly expect much from it, but I'm keeping an open mind, and remaining hopefully optimistic. It's admittedly hard to be that way, considering the villainess is played by Milla Jovovich (and IMDB gives her top billing, what's up with that?).
Still, I'll pay to see it, if only in the hopes that they eventually, finally include Roger.
#ringsoutforroger
Stay tuned, since there's another review planned for later tonight. We'll be looking at a British TV production from 1992 that caused a lot of controversy when it first went to air.
Until next time!
Current interests:
Listening - The Fratellis: We Need Medicine! (2013)
Playing - Mario + Rabbids: Kingdom Battle (2017)
Reading - B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth: The Exorcist (2016)
Watching - Thunderbirds Are Go! (2015)
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