Today's entry is a little special, because we aren't reviewing a movie, but a two-part episode of one of the two '90s horror shows for kids. Yes, there were two horror shows for kids in the '90s. Dang Mortal Kombat, corrupting our youth.
It's also a bit different because we don't have a poster or a DVD cover (though one exists) and we will instead be using a book cover. Remember books?
Anyway, without further ado, let's hop to it.
GOOSEBUMPS: THE HAUNTED MASK PARTS 1 & 2 (1995)
Blogtober Qualifications: Halloween, masks, mean pranks, duck costumes???
Carly Beth Caldwell (Kathryn Long) is afraid of pretty much everything. It doesn't help that everyone seems to love scaring her. Also her mother made a plaster bust of Carly Beth's face in some vague crafts class, which, I mean, that has to be weird, right? Also also, her mother bought Carly Beth a duck costume (???) for Halloween because of an offhand comment CB(as she will now be known) made earlier in the year. I just...
Anyway, she's afraid of everything and the school kids love to prey on that because kids are horrible. After a particularly mean-spirited prank involving a sandwich and a worm, CB decides that she's had enough. "To Hell with the duck costume!" she proclaims (essentially), and she decides to put all of her savings ($30, not bad in '90s money) into the perfect horrific costume to scare everyone around.
Spoiler warning: things don't go so well. She buys a scary mask from a new novelty shop that's just opened up. Oh, and when I say "buys," I mean "steals, throwing the money behind her as a diversion while she runs away." That's fine, though, cause the mask salesman is weird and creepy anyway.
To cut a long story short, CB puts on the mask, along with what are basically her normal clothes. She also steals the plaster bust her mother made and uses it as some sort of scary totem. She has a good time scaring people at first (and is actually pretty fun to watch), but it doesn't take long before she realizes that the mask is changing her. Worse yet, she can't seem to take it off...
So something worth noting here is that, yes, I read the Goosebumps books and loved them. My personal favorite of the books was Attack of the Mutant (which was later adapted into a badass PC game). However, that being said, I never really watched the show. This was mainly because it was never on at a convenient time where I lived. There's also the fact that Are You Afraid of the Dark?, which played after school on my favorite channel (Nickelodeon, which would no longer be my favorite once I discovered Cartoon Network), filled my scary show quota well enough. This may actually be the first time I've watched a full episode all the way through.
And honestly, I found it pretty enjoyable, all things considered. I mean, it's not great, by any stretch. Hell, it might not even be good, technically speaking. But it's a lot more competent than I was expecting.
To put the old horse down right away, yes, the acting is pretty hokey. But it's actually not as bad as you might think.
CB herself is a little wooden, but once she puts the mask on she's actually quite a treat to watch. She seemed to be a bit less stiff behind the mask, and I enjoyed her antics. It's also quite possible that it's a completely different person under the mask. I did some research, but I couldn't find a definite answer either way. I did find out that her actor, Kathryn Long, went on to become a professional ballerina. That's genuinely pretty awesome, way to go.
Everyone else is actually fairly decent. CB's best friend Sabrina (also played by a Kathryn, last name Short) is the weakest of the main kid actors, but
Wait, what? The main character and her best friend are played by Kathryn Long and Kathryn Short? How does that happen? One of those castings had to be intentional, right? Like they were picking between two girls for Sabrina and they had, say, Vernita Green and Kathryn Short. And they were just "Well, it's obvious which one we pick, right?"
That is definitely what happened. Moving on.
Honestly, the weakest acting job (from the named characters) would probably have to go to CB's mom. Her name is Brenda Bazinet, and she's been in quite a few things since this, almost none of it noteworthy. Still, I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she's just phoning it in here. I mean, it's Goosebumps, who's even gonna see it?
Me, apparently.
So beyond all that, the story proceeds pretty much as you'd expect: kid does questionable things, bad things happen, kid learns lesson, twist ending. Like I said, it's actually pretty enjoyable, but I wouldn't call it scary. I mean, I know I'm an adult and everything, but I'm pretty sure there's only one scene in the whole two-parter that would scare even a child, and even that's a bit of a stretch. Still, though, a good time, all told.
At the same time, there are a lot of little weird things that I noticed, and I'm going to rant about that now. Enjoy.
So in the aforementioned worm sandwich scene, we're at the school lunch...yard... and everyone in the school is wearing a costume except the named characters. At least two of these children are dressed as a clown. Y'know, one of the old go-to costumes for any generic background kid.
Then there's the fact that everyone overreacts to the mask. One mother and her children express an inordinate amount of distaste for the rubber visage. CB then growls at the mother's daughter in order to scare her. Because it's Halloween, right? Well then the mother threatens to call the police. Again, the crime is scaring someone on Halloween.
More mask shenanigans, people keep asking CB how she's "doing that with (her) voice," the implication being that her voice is somehow changing when the mask is on. But it's literally just the actress (Long, Kathryn)... doing a slightly different voice? Like, imagine a little girl imitating the Wicked Witch of the West, as they are wont to do. It's just that.
For the record, the mask itself is just a rubber mask. It's well-made, but you could grab something similar at any Party City. I know it's a kids' show, but give me some glowing eyes or something.
We also have the strangest cliffhanger I've ever seen at the end of part one, and this is from a series infamous for bad cliffhangers. Sabrina tells CB to take the mask off. CB doesn't want to. They awkwardly tussle over it. To be continued.
Oh yeah, R.L. Stine himself keeps showing up to tell us how scary his story is, and it's like, dude, you must know better.
And finally, minor spoilers, but CB learns her lesson (I guess) and comes home, relieved to see her mother again. Her mother asks her why she's home so late and what she's so upset about. CB's response?
"Let's just say I learned a lot about myself tonight," or something along those lines. And her mother just smiles and hugs her!
Okay, imagine this: you're a parent. It's Halloween, and your teenage(?) daughter comes home late. You have no idea where she's been, but she's clearly disheveled and in a fair amount of distress. When asked about it, all she'll say is that she learned a lot about herself. In what universe is the proper response smiles and hugs???
Anyway, I've digressed enough. The point is that I actually enjoyed the show quite a bit. Far as I can tell, this special basically created the TV series, so it's really not a surprise that the quality is high (again, relatively speaking). If you have any nostalgic memories, or want to see what we got up to in the '90s, or just want some harmless spooky fun, definitely give it a watch.
And with that, Halloween comes to a close, but Blogtober is not quite over yet. Tomorrow we have our epilogue, one final movie to help us transition from one season to the next. Yeah, you've probably seen it, but it'll be a good time anyway.
Until next time!
Current interests:
Listening - Dio: Holy Diver (1983)
Playing - Super Mario Odyssey (2017)
Reading - The Complete Books of Blood (Clive Barker, 1984)
Watching - Kamen Rider Kiva (2008)
No comments:
Post a Comment